Friday, January 2, 2009
2008! Best year of my life!
You may be thinking, "Oh, jeeze. Another synopsis of someone's year.." click! No, this won't be that. 2008 has been the best year of my life though. It's not that anything really newsworthy happened, or that nothing really awful happened. I had several really awful things happen this year. That's pretty much normal for everyone, isn't it? I can't really say anything really off-the-scale incredible has happened either. The big thing that has anchored the success of my year this year is being able to experience what I believe is a "normal" life. Daily living, free of the severe depression that has ruled my life as long as I can remember. Finally, after 22 years of trying different medications, treatments, and therapies. A doctor has finally found a drug combination that has given me relief from a life of constant worry, sadness, pain and grief. The things I have been able to do and achieve this year are completely unremarkable to the average person. But for me, they are major milestones. I have done things this year that I never dreamed would ever be possible. I stood in front of a group of people and talked about my art jewelry while giving a slide show. I have given classes. I talk to people I don't know without fearing humiliation and rejection. I actually believe I can make a difference in other people's lives. I am confident and don't experience embarassment when I do stupid things. It's not that I am just "happy" all the time. It's that I am not sad and in pain all the time. Just having relief from it is what I consider happiness. Having this tremendous burden lifted from me, I feel that I can conquer anything in this life I set my mind to. And I am grateful for every opportunity that comes my way. I can set goals and be confident in my ability to achieve them. I readily accept the help of others, and offer help to others when I am capable of it. I am sharing all of this because it might help someone out there not to give up the fight. It has taken me 22 years. Who knows, my body chemistry might change at some point, and I'll have to start this process all over again. But for now, I am content being able to say that I have had a year of objective thinking, free from misery. My new year's message to you is FIGHT THE FIGHT. Never give up. You deserve to not be trapped in a prison of hostile (and very real) thoughts being created by your own brain. I am thankful to the people in my life who have stuck by my side, tolerated my irrational thoughts and behavior, and believed in my future enough to not give up on me. I would not have made it without their unconditional love, support, patience, and understanding. So, I write this as an offering of my support to you, whoever you are. I want to give you this as a message of hope and encouragement. Make YOU a priority and keep trying new things, no matter how difficult it seems, until relief arrives. YOU are worth it. You are probably wondering...... What's up with all the kites? Well, my goal for 2009 (sort of a wish or desire, really) is to go to one of these giant kite festivals. What could be more fun and happy? All the color, pleasant climate, people having a good time... definitely something I want to experience live, instead of just looking at cool pictures of other people's fun. All of these photos, and may more cool shots can be viewed at the Flickr group pool Giant Kites.